Becoming more confident

Today were going to dig into confidence, What it means to have it, Traits of the unconfident man vs the confident man, and what you can start to do to implement these ideas.

Confidence is a word that gets thrown around all the time in my profession. It’s one of the most difficult things to fake, and it’s even harder to actually gain true confidence. Its something that takes a lot of time, and a lot of belief and being comfortable with the person you are. It is a reflection of how you see yourself. And it’s a projection of that person. So I think it’s safe to say it’s extremely important. I want to take a look at some qualities that the confident man posses. And some traits that weaker men display so we can begin to understand what were actually showing the world, this way we can begin to correct the issues.

Lets take a look at the unconfident Man first.

Unconfident people usually have a negative view on who they are as a person, They tend to not think they are good at anything. They regularly put themselves down, whether out loud or in their own mind. They seem themselves as a shriveled up plant thats dying, instead of the beautiful strong tree that they could be.

Unconfident men also tend to compare themselves to others regularly. It could be their friends, people they see out at a club, people they see on tv or the internet. Bottom line is they are always looking at others that are doing great things and comparing themselves to those people in a negative light.

Worrying about how others perceive them. This is a sure sign that someone is self conscious or unconfident. Always in their head thinking about what the other people around them see. Do they know i’m nervous? Do they think i’m ugly? Do they notice that i’m uncomfortable right now? All of these negative thoughts about themselves go through their mind. 9 Times out of 10 though, they are the only ones thinking about any of those things. Essentially killing their own game.

Another sure sign of someone with a lack of confidence is they tend to speak low, with a timid voice. They don’t project their ideas, because they are scared of the feedback. Always wondering if anyone is actually going to be interested in what they have to say. They are worried they are being judged at all times and by opening their mouths they are putting themselves in a vulnerable position.

Now lets take a look at the traits, and qualities that confident people display.

They have a positive view of who they are, They aren’t seeking validation from anyone because they have already validated themselves. Is it more important to have others respect you, or to respect yourself? The confident person will always say the latter, Respecting yourself. With self respect and self worth, the others will follow.

They are usually good at something, they have some skill, some knowledge of something. This is a cool concept. I think that everyone should have at least one thing they are good at, and they usually do. Sometimes it takes a great deal of time to find out what it is. And sometimes you may find out there is nothing. But one of the great things about our minds is we have the capability of learning. So pick up a hobby, a skill, a book. Become great at something and you will notice a boost in confidence.

They make decisions and stick with them. You won’t see a confident man flip flopping on his decisions. Going back and forth on what he wants to do that night. On whether or not he is going to walk up and talk to that girl at the bar or not. They make a decision and they stick to it. Whatever the outcome good or bad, that is irrelevant.

They project when they speak, making sure they are heard. Speaking so everyone can hear you, with a strong voice, is a very clear sign of a confident person. You think if you were to meet tom brady he would whisper because he’s nervous to meet you, or would be project a strong superbowl MVP type of voice. You can bet it will be strong. Cool thing is anyone can do that. Its just believe in what comes out of your mouth.

Confident people also never brag about themselves. They know who they are, and they could care less if you know they are awesome or not, because they know they are awesome. They always welcome questions about themselves and would gladly answer them. But they would never brag and try to be better than anyone.

Accepting that failure is inevitable and seeing the opportunity in it. For example a confident man knows that there is always a possibility of failure. If he approaches 10 women at the bar, he knows that there is a good chance he could fail with a few of them. But that will never stop him from trying. Because he also knows that the failure he experiences is a good thing. He can learn from that. And even if he gets shut down, its no personal attack on who he is as a person. He can grow from it and do better next time.

In conclusion today, I hope this gives you a little deeper understanding of what it means to have confidence. I hope that some of these idea’s and traits are things you already posses, or are things you look forward to practicing. This is a major, major attribute that women find irresistible. So please take it seriously, and have fun!

Cheers,

charmninja | October 23, 2015