Law 7 – Setting Up Your Relationships

Setting up a relationship that works for you. This can be a hard thing to do, there are a lot of factors that go into creating a healthy relationship, and knowing when its right for you to settle, compromise, or walk away. But its all going to start with being honest to yourself and to her. And were going to go through some exercises to give you a better sense of how to approach getting the things out of a relationship that are important to you.

For each of the following exercises, rate your comfort level on a scale of 1-10 (1 being not comfortable at all and 10 being extremely comfortable) And don’t worry if you’re at a 1 now for some of this stuff, thats totally fine, intact its good that means we can improve on it! The more we practice and get used to these types of situations the more comfortable you’ll become and soon enough before you know it you’re gonna be at a 10:

Exercise 1 – Setting clear expectations

You want to set clear expectations of what you are expecting with the relationship. What it is that you need to be happy, and live without resenting her for anything. When you don’t clarify what you want right away, or at least before things start to get serious, you begin to sacrifice things you never were comfortable sacrificing. So be very clear early on ( earlier the better ) its easier that way and generally more accepted.

Rate your comfort Level _______

Exercise 2 – Speak your mind

Radical honestly is a blessing and a curse. However I consider it to be more of a blessing in the long run. The more upfront and honest you can be with her the happier the both of you will be. You will always know what to expect and you won’t end up fighting about things that are important to you but you never were able to talk about. So if there is anything that you ever feel the need to say but can’t find the words, look harder.

Rate your comfort Level _______

Exercise 3 – Honesty Practice Exercises

– Say something you normally wouldn’t to somebody. Just a honest truth that you normally would hold back from discussing or talking about with someone.

– Next time you catch yourself lying, stop yourself and say “you know what, that’s not true, this is what actually hap- pened.” (Or whatever it may be about) Think about what you say before you say it and make a conscious decision to choose the truth.

Rate your comfort Level _______

Exercise 4 – Keys to making her comfortable with tough honesty

-Always be clear and emphasize the fact that you want to be completely up front and honest with her because you care about her.

-Always get across that, this is just your lifestyle right now. Maybe you had a bad breakup, maybe you just aren’t ready for something more, whatever it is. Just say its where you are at in life at the moment.

-Always be understanding about how she takes it, and try and sympathize with her feelings about your lifestyle choices.

Rate your comfort Level _______

Exercise 5 – Compromising

Compromising doesn’t always come naturally for everyone. Its hard to give up things that you want or like to make someone else happy. However in a relationship compromising is a necessity. The one thing I do want to get across with this exercise is for you to practice only compromising on things that you CAN live without. If its something that is very important to you, something that is going to cause resentment down the road because you had to give it up, Then you need to know when to say no and walk away.

Rate your comfort Level _______

Exercise 6 – Compromises you should be able to live with

– Playing video games all day.
– Being more open and honest with her.
– Taking her out more often.

– Getting along with her friends or family, that you don’t necessarily like

Rate your comfort Level _______

Exercise 7 – Compromises you should not give in on

Make eye contact with 3 people. Hold it as long as possible.

– Any change to your core values. Whatever they may be, obviously different for every person.

– Anything that involves you losing a very close friend, or a family member. (There are always exceptions, however this is a general guideline.)

– Anything that will really start to bother you in the long run. If it is going to be on your mind constantly then It is a NO